Monthly Archives: February 2017

Feb12

let me sum up, in tweets

Posted on by
Standard

Sometimes you can sum up a relationship better in Tweets and Hashtags. #FakeLoveFacts #BreakUpHashtagsAreTheBest #ImFINEdammit

The one that is the story of my life

The one I heard over and over

I actually believed this one

A story I told myself

Not kidding

I need to redefine ’emergency’

not really true, he never said I was sexy

and he forget his phone, bummer, right?

actually the only way he expressed anything

again, not really true, he never said he wanted to be with me

I’m probably just over-reacting, again

and again….

And the one that is the most true

Thanks Twitter for the #FakeLoveFacts Hashtag trend. I’d say I feel much better, but that’s not true. But it did distract me for a little bit, so that’s good.

I do talk about other things on  Twitter, (cough! #Resist #TheWalkingDead) really, you can click, you know, like, if you really, really wanted to. I’m going to go finish of that quart of chocolate ice cream while you do.

 

Feb10

what I really think of Valentines day

Posted on by
Standard
180134_1849733364368_7203281_n-2

My Homemade Valentines

Yes, I remain as curmudgeonly as ever this time of year.

Dear Cupid (1) 

I wanted to personally(2) thank you for all
the joy(3) you have brought into my life(4) 
thus far. My high school years were
especially full(5) of your special touch with 
an arrow(6). As I grew and matured(7) I came to
realize the unique role(8) that you would play
in my life(9). Every step I took you were
there(10). I have certainly been blessed(11) by
your love(12). It is at this wonderful(13) time
of the year that I really feel closest to you(14).
So for all(15) you have done(16) I want to express
my gratitude(17) properly(18). With a kiss(19).

Yours with Love(20) 
R

(1) You cruel naked jerk
(2) and I mean up close and personal
(3) and by joy I mean years and years of personal anguish
(4) if you could call it that
(5) full of scatological moments
(6) were you aiming for my forehead?!
(7) tried desperately to out run you – you grotty little louse
(8) of my personal tormentor 
(9) of pain and turmoil
(10) shooting arrows in my back
(11) I didn’t know beelzebub did blessings
(12) love of inflicting acute mental and physical pain 
(13) commercially forced sentimental pink drivel 
(14) hard to miss you with this sharp arrow in my throat – you foul bastard!
(15) Every last agonizing…
(16) each and every arrow through my head, my back…
(17) I got my own cross-bow 
(18) so I would watch your spiteful nude butt
(19) would you like to know where?
(20) I would Love to snap your little “bow” in half

 

I’m with Zefrank here, relationship apocalypse. Yes or No?

This year it’s a No, my awesomeness can be a lot to handle.

screen-shot-2016-02-13-at-9-12-22-pm1

Feb8

WOMANIFESTO

Posted on by
Standard

Yes.
Every. Single. MotherFucking. Word.

Libba Bray

Congratulations.

You have woken the witch that lives deep inside me.

You have removed the slumber chains from the giant of old.

You have handed me a box of matches and no chaperone

And a world made of lies and polyester.

Congratulations.

You have barked up the wrong bitch.

Proclaim it:

I have shucked off the good, southern lady’s cloak,

Of the homecoming court, the cheerleader,

The preacher’s daughter, hands gentled in her lap.

They tied it at my neck with a bow, a Gordian girl-knot,

When I was young and bossy and sure-footed

“For protection,” they said.

Whose protection? I wondered.

Enough.

I have sent that shit out to the dry cleaners

I will not pick it up

They can sell it for a profit from a rack on the street.

From now on,

I’m exposing the raw pink edges of my true skin to the sun.

Some things…

View original post 606 more words