- write ‘how not to think about something’
- make another bullet point
- stare at screen
- remember the thing
- remember you’re not thinking about the thing
- think about the thing
- look at title – remind yourself why you’re writing this
- think about the thing
- decide to meditate
- get a text, read text, text back with emojis
- notice Snapchat notification, look at Snaps, try every filter on yourself and then on the bird and then on the you and the bird together
- congratulate yourself on very clever bird Snap
- remember you were going to mediate
- check YouTube….
- check Twitter….
- get angry at Twitter
- tweet brilliantly, sit smugly aware that your tweets will change the world
- remember you were going to meditate
- get email notification, read email
- get Facebook notification….
- think about the thing
- right, time to meditate
- congratulate self about meditating
- think about the thing while meditating
- give up mediation for cheesecake
- experience self-loathing about eating cheesecake, but then smugness because not thinking about the thing
- think about thing
- decide to write a blog about how not thinking about the thing
- come up with a clever blog title
- finish cheesecake, because then it won’t be able to tempt you anymore #logical
- wonder why you’re using hashtags in WordPress #odd
- forget clever blog title
- think about the thing
- look up memes for blog
- berate self over not being organized
- decide morning is a much better time to get organized
- go to bed
- pick up intellectually challenging but impressive novel, read one sentence three times
- think about the thing
- go to sleep.
Zen Bitch 